Oct 182011
 

It’s time for R. Harrie’s third campaign challenge and here are the rules:

Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:

  • that it’s morning,
  • that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
  • that the MC (main character) is bored
  • that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
  • that something surprising happens.

My piece is just under 300 words. YES! Check it out:

Hannah’s Tomatoes

Hannah sits on a bench; knees bent, feet firm on the seat. Sweat drips down the small of her back as tiny wet beads form on her upper lip. She brushes them away and breathes in the sticky air. There is a smell; familiar, but pungent. A dead rat maybe? Ah, the joys of North Avenue Beach. She coughs and unscrews the cap from her bottle. The water rushes down her throat, a short relief from the heat. Sweat drips from her hands. She presses them against her head and slicks down the loose strands of hair. She picks at a piece of skin hanging from her fingernail as a slight breeze presses against her body. He is walking towards her, the blur of a boy folded into the distance of the hazy sun. The closer he gets, the harder her heart beats. When he is near, she stands up. He paces towards her disturbing the morning dust with each step.

They walk off the concrete walkway into the sandbank. Her toes sink in. The gritty grains brush against the pads of her feet. Dirty, orange-colored mountains form along the sides of her heels.

They set their towels down and run towards the edge of the pier. She crashes into the water. Bing. The clasp of her bikini top flies open for all the world to see. Her face reddens like a tomato. Now two tomatoes are hanging out. She pulls her top shut trying to push one side of the clasp into the other, but it’s pointless. The thing is busted. With a hand across her chest, she runs from the water, leaps down, snatches the towel from the sand, and wraps it around her body. She shouldn’t have done that cannonball after all.

Thanks for reading!

I am #46 on the linky list if you feel so inclined to vote for me. You can place your vote for any of the entries at Rachael Harrie’s Third Campaigner Challenge blog post.

 

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  31 Responses to “Third Campaign Challenge – Hannah’s Tomatoes”

  1. Haha I like it. Good job! Nice take on the challenge!

    (I’m entry #5)

  2. Thanks Jessica! Just visited your blog and voted for you. I hope you had a good time throughout the campaign. I know I did. 🙂

  3. I love the descriptions of how over heated she feels, makes me feel right along with her. A fun entry & nice job! 🙂

  4. That was a fun story. I can just imagine her swimsuit snapping. I would be so embarrassed. Great story!

  5. Thank you Alynza! Thanks for reading.

  6. Now that is embarrassing! Lol! ; )

  7. @Mel – Thanks. LOL!

    @Sheri – LOL!

  8. Loved this. I wanted to let you know that you’ve moved on to the next round of judging. 🙂 You did a great job on the challenge.

  9. Awesome! Thank you J.E.!

  10. I laughed out loud when I read your ending. Your tension was spot on. And, you certainly did show. You have my vote. — Patricia T.

  11. Nice job! I really felt for her. What an embarrassing moment! Good showing, not telling.

  12. I loved your description of the humidity at the beginning, and the ending was funny! Great job.

    Mine is #25.

  13. Great details! The sand, the drink, the snap on her top! Awesome job!

  14. I laughed when her bikini snapped open. Great story. Love the use of pungent – but then I’m partial to awesome words 😉

    Excellent challenge response.

  15. @Patricia, @Elizabeth, @Jen, @Holly @KT- Thanks for reading and commenting! LOL! 🙂

  16. Belly flops are not the only possible consequence of a plunge gone wrong! Excellent job! 🙂

  17. Super descriptive! I could definitely feel the heat and sand.

  18. I would HATE that! It’s like a horrible nightmare. Great title 🙂

  19. What a fun piece… talk about an awkward moment *giggles*
    I love the line: “…the blur of a boy folded into the distance of the hazy sun.”
    Thanks for visiting my blog.

  20. Fun entry! Love the detail and the embarrassing moment.

  21. Great story and so relatable! Mine is #56

  22. @David – Belly flops and cannonballs are dangerous! LOL!

    @Megan – Glad you could feel the heat and sand. I tried to be as descriptive as possible.

    @Angie – I know, right?! LOL! Thanks for the compliment on the title.

    @Catherine – Thanks!

    @Bridget – Thanks!

    Thanks for reading!

  23. great story! ha ha! hate those embarrassing moments!

  24. nice job! What a splash she made on the that day! Forget turning red, I think I would have just died of embarrassment!

  25. Darn wardrobe malfunctions! You did a great job with the challenge. Loved it! I’m #65.

  26. @Tara – Thanks.

    @Saba – I think I would have died of embarrassment too! LOL!.

    @Gwen – Thanks!

  27. haha! cute and you made me smile!

  28. I feel for her embarrassing situation. Fun entry and awesome writing.

  29. Nice job! I loved the ending. Great job of showing and not telling.

  30. How embarrassing! Great job! 🙂

  31. Loved your description, and such a fun post. NIce job!

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