Apr 042012

When I was fifteen, my dad was admitted to the hospital. He was forty-seven.

When he came home, he was on tons of medication: teensy pills, horse pills, white pills, orange pills. I didn’t know what they were for. All I knew was he needed them. I could’ve asked him what they were, but the truth is I didn’t want to know. I wanted his sickness and everything that came with it to go away.

It wouldn’t go away though. His pills began to slowly invade, assault and take over our normal lives. First they lived on the kitchen counter, then in the bathroom and finally in the corner cabinet that held our drinking glasses. No matter where I was, there was a bottle of pills in my face and I began to hate them. They signified everything about my dad’s sickness that I loathed. Strange thing was, a week prior I equated medicine with health. If I had a headache, I took an Aspirin. If I got a cold, I took Sudafed. They always made me better.

I asked my dad if he needed to take all of those pills daily. His answer: if he wanted to live. Something clicked inside of me the moment he said those words and I knew he would be dependent on pills for the rest of his life. This was the point when I started to dissect what I was doing and eating. I realized I could make myself healthier. I began cleaning up my body by running, cutting out soda pop, going vegetarian and never smoking or drinking. Of course, I now realize that was my naivety talking. Sometimes intention and action don’t coincide.

Nothing I did in my teenage years or my twenties could prepare me for what was to inevitably come in my thirties. As much as I tried to control my health, I couldn’t. I won the lottery.

Winning the disease lottery is a game that nobody wants to win, but sometimes you don’t have a choice. It took me a long time to realize that sometimes diseases strike at random. It’s not a punishment.

As luck would have it, I now have to take a pill a day. I’m not angry. It is what it is. I’m convinced there isn’t a single person that wishes to be dependent on a pill for the rest of their lives, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I always ask myself this question to clear my head: what’s worse, a pill a day or impending death? I would say the former, but that’s just me.

I just filled my pill case for the week. Sometimes I leave it in the kitchen. Other times it’s in my bedroom or the bathroom. Maybe it too has invaded my life. Sometimes I feel like I am turning into my father. Sometimes I think I finally know how he feels.

I used to have this gym teacher in grade school who always said, “If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.” He doesn’t know how right he was.

Feb 132012

One of the best things about living in Chicago or any big city is having access to a plethora of restaurants, live theater shows, concerts, literary readings, sporting events, art installations, transportation, cultural events, and shopping among other things.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen some pretty fascinating stuff that has blown my mind. I’d like to share two of those things with you.

At the Bulls vs. Nets game, I got to see one of the funniest shorts put on by Big Ben and Benji the bull. Check them out below:

To learn more about Benny, Big Ben, Benji and the entire Bulls family, check out this site: iwantbenny.com.

Another cool thing I got to see was this incredible light sculpture at the Chicago Auto Show. I’ve never seen anything like it and I had to get it on video. Turns out, it was created by Chuck Hoberman, of the Chuck Hoberman Sphere. Check out what it does and be amazed:

Well folks, there you have it.

If I find any other cool things around Chi-town, (and I’m sure I will) I’ll be sure to post a video.

Stay tuned for more awesomeness and in the meantime, peace and happiness.

Sep 162009

I think I have my life under control again. I was a little unfocused for a while, but I feel a lot better about things and I know where I’m going. Nobody ever tells you that you need an intense amount of discipline to be a writer, but you do.

The road isn’t easy and there aren’t any shortcuts. Believe me, I’ve looked. That doesn’t mean you stop looking for them though. At least I don’t. I’m always looking for the easiest way to get there, but that just doesn’t exist.

I have so many projects and so many dreams. I worry that I won’t be able to finish them all. But I feel whole when I finish projects, so I will push on.

Lately, I’ve been feeling better about interviewing people. I wonder if I miss that human adult connection. You see, I work from home. Some would call me a stay at home mom, but I consider myself more than that. I am a creative, a communicator.

I am also a partner in a web design business and I have my own jewelry line in addition to being a freelance writer. How do I find the time? I don’t. And the things I love to do are beginning to suffer. I wish there were more like 40 hours in a day. Then I’m sure I could get most of it done.

I measure my success by happiness, but lately I’ve been reverting to income. Why? It’s sick. I wonder if there are any writers out there that are doing what they love and are able to make a living doing it. If you do, then how do you do it and how did you get there? I want to know the secret.

Dec 022008

I have this goal to re-work the short stories I’ve written this past year. Is it doable in a month? Possibly, if I were somebody else, but this year has been nothing short of strenuous. I got pregnant in January and delivered a baby boy last month. I have been learning to take care of my baby and maintain my household while trying to keep up with writing and maintaining two businesses. My immediate family has moved away, so the only support I have is my husband who works a full time corporate job. He has taken almost all of his PTO for the year. He has been here helping with the baby, but that doesn’t change the fact that we are both exhausted to no end. How do other people balance their families and careers? I don’t get it.